Old MacDonald had a handle
Dave Barry's been autotranslating his whimsical prose for humorous effect: English-->French-->German-->French-->Greek-->French-->English. Kinda funny:
Among other things, adjectival 'dead' becomes past participle 'died' while still retaining the 'be' auxiliary, and 'Jack Bauer' become 'Bauer-Klinke' ('jack' in the sense of 'socket', my online dictionary tells me -- inverting the headedness of the imaginary compound coz it's coming from French, I guess, though 'jack' doesn't appear in my French dictionaries) then 'La poignée d'agriculteur' ('Klinke' in the sense of 'handle'), then 'The handle of the farmer'. Don't even ask what happens to "Chinese actors who are still ticked off about a subplot from the previous season that most of us don't even remember."